I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
