Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
