I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
