I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
