Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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