i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
