im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize