can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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