So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So much rum. So many feels.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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