Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
