The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
