He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
