no, he came in my armpit
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize