I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
