Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
