theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
