this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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