I got chris browned last night
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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