my mouth tastes like poor choices
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
