no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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