Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
