i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
