oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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