sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
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