she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
