I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
