hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
