I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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