This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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