i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let's get the cat blown out
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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