I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
