so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
