this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
