sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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