i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
