i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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