You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I want to have your abortion
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
