You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
