I want to have your abortion
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
