I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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