I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
