Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
my liver is dry heaving
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
