Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
