i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
