you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
