its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
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