What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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