i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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