now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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