I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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