you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize