butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
