i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
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Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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