this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
