But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
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You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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