I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
