Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
