Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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