What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
