Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
