i already hear my dad disowning me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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