He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
