yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
