even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We got so high we made milksteak
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
