I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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