the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
