Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
