the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We had sex on a dog bed..
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
