I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
