Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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